Family Relations
by Adre
Summary: Based on Red Witch's Misfit Universe.Pysche Out's therapy session with everyone's favorite dysfunctional siblings get out of hand.


**Disclaimer:Okay,everyone.I don't own the X-men and GI Joe.They belong to Marvel.The Misfits and their particular brand of insanity belong to Red Witch,although I wish I did own them.**

**This is my first fic,I hope you guys enjoy it.I actually wrote this story a year ago and just posted it.I've always been fasinated by the family dynamics between Kurt,Rogue,Wanda,and Pietro and I think what is described in this one shot might have happened at one point.**

**By the way,if you're observant you'll notice a reference to Calvin & Hobbes.**

"This sucks," growled Wanda from the her seat in a bean-bag chair she had dragged to the corner furthest from Psyche Out's office door.Pietro,Kurt,and Rogue also sat in the room,each in their own seperate area.Kurt on the ceiling,Rogue sitting in a chair next the door,and Pietro darting around restlessly.

"Trust me,this is no picnic for me either,"grumbled Kurt.

"What I don't believe is that the Professor actually agreed to this stupid family therapy thing,"said Rogue as she glared darkly at the unfortunate door as if it were the cause of her current troubles.

"Come on,Rogue! You know you love us,"cried Pietro as he zoomed up to lean on the chair.

Wanda casually hexed the speedster into a wall while Kurt and Rogue threw stuffed animals from various parts of the room at him.

"Okay everyone! While I do believe in expressing your emotions,expressing them on Pietro isn't such a good idea,"cried Psyche Out he waltzed through the door,General Hawk and Professor Xaiver in tow.

"Tell me,why are we doing this again,"groaned Xaiver as he rubbed his temples in anticpation of a migraine.

"Because the four have to work out their differences for the sake of both the Misfits and the X-men,"responded Hawk,although he too look apprehensive,"Beside we really don't want a repeat of the noodle incident last week,do we?"

"For the last time,Pietro provoked me,"snapped Kurt.

"Did not,"yelled the other boy.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!"

"DID-"

"ENOUGH,"roared Hawk.

Both boys fell into a sullen silence,glaring at each other.

"This is going to backfire on us,"murmured Xaiver.

"Nonsense,"replied Psyche Out as he ushered Hawk and Xaiver out,"Now go on so I can start the session."

"At least my mansion won't be destroyed this time,"said Xaiver as he rolled out the door.

"I won't count on that,the other Misfits went over to there an hour ago."

The proffesor's response was cut off by Psyche Out shutting the door.

"Okay!'said the blond psychaitrist,clapping his hands together,"Let's start off by gathering in a circle."

The four teenagers reluctantly sat in the spots Psyche Out indicated.

"Well folks,we'll start with a simple exercise.Going around the circle clockwise,we'll tell a little known fact about each other.Wanda,let's start with you."

Wanda,with an expression to terrify Apocolypse himself,glared at the therapist,who didn't bat an eye.

"Why are we doing this,"she asked,"All we ever do in these little sessions is get mad at each other and wreck stuff!"

"Got that right!"

"Testify,Sister Wanda!"

"No kidding!"

"Well this is progress,"chripped Psyche Out ,"You actually agree about something."

The four mutants blinked and looked at each other.

"Shoot,he's right,"said Rogue.

"Who else is terrified by that fact?"asked Kurt.

Everyone except Psyche Out raised their hands.

"Anyway...Wanda,tell us something about yourself,"said Psyche Out.

"Well,when we were eight,I dyed Pietro's hair pink and the color wouldn't come out for weeks."

There was a second of chaos as Pietro squealed in protest while Kurt and Rogue burst out laughing.

"Settle down,guys,"yelled Psyche Out as he restored order.

"Don't worry,I have pictures," Wanda whispered to Rogue.

"Okay,Kurt,you're next."

"I used to work in the circus,"volunteered Kurt.

"Really,"asked Wanda suprised.

"Yeah,I was home schooled and I couldn't exactly go into town.So the circus was my one outlet."

"What did you do,work in the freak show,"drawled Pietro rather insensitively.

Fortunately,Psyche Out was able to get between the two boys before Kurt beat the snot out of Pietro.

"Okay,let's move on to another exercise.Rogue,I'm going to give you this doll and then you say what about your siblings annoys you.If you get angry,I want you to squeeze the doll."

"This won't be a repeat of Mr.Cuddles will it?",asked Kurt.

Psyche Out conviently ignored him.

"Okay then...,"Rogue took a deep breathe,"I hate that they never leave me alone.There's always a blue elf or an albino hummingbird around.I mean,why can't they leave me the hell alone! And then there's the fact they always ask stupid questions.Hey Rogue,can I borrow tewenty bucks? or Hey,Rogue,can I borrow your CD player or..."

It seemed Rogue was hitting full-rant mode and wasn't intending to stop anytime soon.A dangerous gleam reminiscent of a pissed-off Wolverine entered her eyes.Both Kurt and Pietro were trying to make themselves as small as possible,terrified that to draw attention was to invite Rogue's wrath.They also tried hard not to watch as the little doll's eyes bugged out in Rogue's clenched fists.By now,even Wanda looked mildly disconcerned as Rogue clutched the doll harder and harder until...

"Huh,the doll's head popped off,Psyche Out."

"Moving on..,"muttered Psyche Out as he scribbled something down in his notes.

"Admit it,Psyche.There's nothing you can do that will make us get along,"Pietro said with his trademark smirk.

There was a moment's silence before Psyche Out suddenly smiled.

_Thirty minutes later..._

"Okay,I'll admit I was wrong,"said Pietro as he,Wanda,Kurt,and Rogue cheerfully whacked at a stuffed dummy that looked remarkablely like Magneto with bats in one of the fields outside the Pit.

"I like this therapy,"said Wanda as she pounded on stuffed-Magneto's head with a Louisville slugger.

"All we need is a dummy-Mystique and I'll be content,"agreed Rogue.

"I know I shouldn't be doing this but it's too much fun,"cried Kurt as he went to work on Magneto's legs.

"Hey,guys,I know what we can do with what's left.All we need is some wood,gasoline and..."

"Are you sure this is a good idea,Psyche Out,"asked Hawk from where he and several Joes watched the spectacle.

"Of course,General.It's something they all agree about and can bond over.Not to mention they're releasing their anger in a healthy way."

"Define healthy,"said Lifeline as he watched Wanda use the dummy's head for a baseball with a rather manic grin.

"Could be worse,"commented Low Light,"they could be blowing stuff up."

**BBBOOOOOOOMMMM!**

The entire base shook from the explosion.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! BURN BABY! BURNNNN!"

"Nevermind,"muttered the sniper.

"I think it's time for those four to take naps,"remarked Bree.

"Before they destroy the entire base,"growled Beach Head.

"I'll get the tranquilizers,"said Lifeline wearily as he walked off.

"Well you can tell they're really related,"observed Hawk as he watched said teenagers string up the charred reamained of dummy-Magneto up in a tree.

"They're all psychos!"


End file.
